What Is the Filipino Parenting Style?

Parenting styles in the Philippines vary across different cultures and regions. A strong emphasis on respect, obedience, and close family ties characterizes the Filipino parenting style. It is often described as being traditional and collectivistic, with a strong emphasis on family values and respect for authority. Filipino parents are known to be strict yet loving and caring. They often use discipline as a way of teaching children right from wrong while also providing plenty of support and guidance.

However, the Filipino parenting style has now been influenced by modern trends, with more Filipino parents adopting a more flexible approach to parenting, including an increase in the use of technology and media as well as greater involvement in their children’s lives.

Parenting Styles: Why It Matters

My parents were strict when I was a child, especially my Dad. We have the typical parents in the ’90s. My parents assigned house chores, imposed strict table manners, had early curfews at 6 PM, and TV time was only until 8 PM.

Despite my parents being strict, they made sure we had family time before bed. My Dad would tell us riddles, and my siblings and I would try to guess the answer. My mom was also an expert storyteller, and I enjoyed most of her stories. Sometimes we have a performance contest. My brother, sister and I will take turns on the “platform,” an old wooden chest from our great-grandmother, to perform a poem or a song.

My parents being strict has helped us become disciplined children, and their value for family time made us more confident and self-reliant. We developed good communication skills as kids, and we became achievers in school.

The parenting styles in the Philippines have been found to impact children’s development significantly. Different parenting styles have been shown to have different impacts on a child’s cognitive, emotional, and behavioral development.

For example, the authoritative parenting style, which is characterized by warmth, high expectations, and clear communication, has been found to be associated with high self-esteem, self-reliance, and better academic performance in children [1].  

On the other hand, the authoritarian parenting style [2], which is characterized by strict rules and little warmth and communication, can lead to lower self-esteem, lower academic achievement, and behavioral problems. It is important to note that parenting styles can change over time and adapt to different stages of the child’s development.

Consequently, getting a good grasp on distinct parenting approaches and understanding how to adjust according to your child’s changing needs can help parents nurture contented, sound, and psychologically balanced children.

Differentiating the Parenting Styles in the Philippines

The Filipino parenting style is often broadly classified as either authoritative, authoritarian, or permissive. In this article, we will differentiate these three parenting styles in the Philippines and shed some light on how each type of parenting can impact a child’s development.

Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parenting is a style of parenting characterized by high expectations and strict rules with low communication, warmth, and responsiveness. This parenting style is based on the belief that children should follow all rules without questioning them. Authoritarian parents often use punishment to enforce their rules and do not provide guidance or explanation when setting boundaries.

Filipino parents who use an authoritarian approach to parenting typically set strict rules and discipline their children harshly if these rules are not followed.

Impact of Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting can have a negative impact on a child’s development. Children raised in an authoritarian environment are more likely to be anxious, have low self-esteem, and develop behavioral problems such as aggression and depersonalization [3], [4]. They may also struggle with expressing their thoughts and feelings and lack independent thinking skills.

On the academic front, children of authoritarian Filipino parents tend to perform worse in school and have lower educational achievement overall. This could be due to the lack of communication and guidance, as well as the emphasis on punishment rather than positive reinforcement, which may discourage a child from trying hard or reaching his/her full potential.

Although authoritarian parenting may have its negative points, it can also foster certain qualities like respect for authority, obedience, and discipline. The key to successful parenting lies in finding the right balance between setting rules and providing love and care.

Authoritative Parenting Style

Filipino parents who adopt an authoritative approach to parenting typically set clear boundaries, expectations, and rules but also involve their children in making decisions and provide warmth and understanding. This style of parenting has been found to be associated with higher self-esteem, better academic performance, and greater psychological well-being for children.

Impact of Authoritative Parenting

Children raised in an authoritative environment often develop better communication and problem-solving skills. They display higher levels of independence, autonomy, and self-reliance, as well as greater academic achievement. Children of authoritative Filipino parents are also more likely to be emotionally and psychologically secure.

Permissive Parenting Style

Filipino parents who use a permissive approach to parenting [5] typically provide their children with few expectations and a little discipline. This style of parenting has been linked to lower academic performance, greater childhood anxiety, and higher levels of aggression in children.

Impact of Permissive Parenting

Children of permissive Filipino parents typically lack self-control and struggle to regulate their emotions. They may also display behavior problems such as disobedience, aggression, and/or hyperactivity. On the academic front, children of permissive Filipino parents tend to perform poorly in school due to a lack of guidance and structure in their lives.

What Is Positive Parenting?

There’s a new parenting style that caught my attention when I started having problems with how to deal with my eldest son when he was a toddler.  It’s called positive parenting.

This parenting method is based on the idea that raising children with respect and kindness is possible while still setting boundaries and enforcing consequences for bad behavior.

Positive parenting focuses on building strong relationships between parents and children, encouraging independence [6], and providing guidance through positive reinforcement methods such as praise, rewards, and consistent communication. 

Children of positive Filipino parents develop a sense of autonomy, are more confident and socially competent, have higher self-esteem, and display better problem-solving skills. I found a good audiobook about Positive Discipline on Lazada (it’s no longer for sale there, though).

You can buy the book or the audiobook. Check out Positive Discipline Parenting Tools: The 49 Most Effective Methods to Stop Power Struggles, Build Communication and Raise Empowered, Capable Kids by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Kristina Bill, and Joy Marchese on Audible.

Parenting Styles in the Philippines: Bottomline

In conclusion, Filipino parents should take into account the different parenting styles when raising their children: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and positive parenting. Each one offers a different set of benefits and drawbacks, so it’s important for Filipino parents to find the right balance that works for their family.

Ultimately, what matters most is that children are given the guidance and support they need to develop into successful, confident individuals. We were kids before, and now that we are parents, we should learn from the mistakes of our parents in the past.

By taking the time to understand parenting styles in the Philippines and explore the best approach for your family, parents can provide a nurturing environment that helps their children reach their full potential.

Resources:

1. The influence of parenting style on academic achievement and career path [1]
2. Authoritarian parenting style [2]
3. Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept [3]
4. Depersonalisation disorder: a contemporary overview [4]
5. Permissive parenting style [5]
6. Positive Parenting https://health.ucdavis.edu/children/patients_family_resources/Patient_and_Family_Education_A_to_Z/Positive-Parenting.html#Positive